I guess I should update first–
I went to the dreaded Sept. 25th hearing (representing myself, again), armed with a Crisis worker, two CYS workers, the ER Doctor who signed the 302 order the night of June 2nd-3rd, and one Officer James Collins. These are the people I subpoena’d. Also TWO other therapists who have been involved in my care since 2013 wrote letters on my behalf, as well as the Physician’s Assistant that I see regularly at Central Potter Health Center.
Hours passed, and I questioned these people ad nauseam as to the events that transpired on June 2nd, and the following events.
Daniel Lang (Mike Ingalls’ attorney) “let” me call witnesses out of order — he hasn’t presented his entire case against me yet — in order to be nice to them and let them go back to work, because I was clearly ruining their day. (Ya know–by asking them to vouch for me as a decent and worthy mother and recall events truthfully that will have an impact on THREE children’s lives FOREVER…… what a pain in the ass…….)
I also had the negative results of the drug test I had to submit to a few days before… there’s nothin’ like pissin’ in a cup while somebody’s watchin’ carefully in case you decide to get smart or somethin’……
I do this through the Probation Office now. (The Probation Office that refused to do my drug testing before when I requested it on the grounds that I am not actually ON Probation. I also tried Human Services and CYS–who THREATENED me with drug testing, but then when I threw up my hands and said, “PLEASE!! I WOULD LOVE TO!”, they said it wasn’t in their budget.)
The other THREE negative drug tests that I submitted into evidence that I voluntarily had done in my doctor’s office in an effort to get this ridiculous FOUR MONTH sentence (That is not up until JANUARY 8TH, 2016) reduced while this case was continued and continued and continued “didn’t count.”
Wanna know why?
Nobody WATCHED me piss in that cup.
Maybe I warmed somebody else’s pee up and had it in my purse and poured it into the cup.
Maybe aliens came through the window and peed in the cup instead of me.
MAYBE–maybe the drug dealers that supposedly I sell my “food stamp” money to according to my MOTHER –yup–this is the new one she came up with the other day–manufactured a perfect man-made specimen of chemically correct and pH balanced liquids that look and smell and act like PEE snuck me some of their awesome fake pee juice so that I could get out of drug testing, because I am obviously SUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR HIGH and DRUNK all the time…….
The case was continued.
I don’t have the new date yet–I’m sure they’ll get it to me in the next month or so–no worries.
In the meantime–
I SEE MY DAUGHTER FOR SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS PER WEEK.
This has been for the entire summer. Or less, before the Judge made them [Brenda Bonczar, William Bonczar, Michael Ingalls, and…..bizarrely….Jaimi Hajzus still seems to have her claws in this case, taking a suuuuuuuuuuuuper special interest in it……..oh…did I mention that her boyfriend is my parent’s attorney? YUP.]
Tonight my mother made sure, like she has done before, to rush the boys into the bathtub when it is time to go, because they cry, and she doesn’t want to have to deal with it. So she just wants me to disappear to them. Sometimes Mommy’s here, and then, she just disappears!
Henry clings to me every second I am near him, won’t even sit in his high chair to eat dinner any more, has to sit on my lap, because he knows.
He knows at any minute, I will be gone again.
And he won’t be able to see, hear, or touch me at all.
So I go into the bathroom and say, “Jesus, you couldn’t have waited ONE MINUTE so that I could kiss and hug them goodbye??!”
She shrugs and responds, “He wanted to get in.”
Sometimes I am astounded that my body can hold in all of the hatred I have for her.